I have one little boy. He will be two in March. My husband and I go on and on about another. We talk about "when we.." and "if we.." and "after we..". I have almost come to the conclusion, that our little boy will be the only child we have.
In March will be the first time I drop him off at daycare. I am going back to college for Nursing. I wish I would have know before he was born, that there would things I would miss so much that I would physically ache with sadness. It is a bitter sweet thing, child rearing. No phase is ever very long. Long gone are midnight breastfeeding sessions. Long gone are cuddles. Dependence left with the first step. Soon comes sentences, no's, and crazy toddler tricks.
Also, are the kisses, the full-run hugs after a long day away from each other. The bedtime reading. The wonder and love sparked by a dog. The amazing way everything I teach him gives him pride in himself.
I have come to accept that none of these things last. There will be a new phase, issued in quickly with going potty, alphabets, school, boyscouts, friends, girls, grades, college, work.....
I wish that I would have known, at certain points that there would be "lasts". I would have spent less time on his baby book, and more time on that. There are many things I miss about infancy, and much more I will miss about toddlerhood.
It breaks my heart knowing what is ahead, and knowing that we may choose not to do it all over again.
